Sanctifie La Veille

I just realized Halloween is two days away. Makes me wish everyday was Halloween. In other news...I want to take a moment here to talk about judgment. I was talking to a close friend of mine yesterday, when she went off on this rant about how this next year is going to be "her year". Naturally I thought she was full of shit and herself, but her motivational, and even downright disrespectful, words triggered something in me. Let me just say that I'm all for drastic life changes and resolutions that build toward a better "you", but that doesn't mean talking shit and thinking badly of the people who "never change". A few of my friend's new resolutions are: no more smoking cigarettes; no more eating out; get gym membership; take supplements; don't use fluoride; sewing and/or crafting at home; no more hanging out with "losers" and "lames" who "never change". And the icing on the proverbial cake was, "and you should do the same." I'm sorry, I dearly love my friend, but fuck that. Seriously. I don't appreciate being labeled a lame because I don't have a gym membership (because I cant afford one) or a sewing machine (because I can't afford one) or smoking cigarettes, (I enjoy my ciggs, and I already made a New Year's resolution to quit, so until then fuck off!) what I'm getting at here is that we have no right to judge people for their decisions, or lack there of. I have decided not to judge my dear friend for whatever the fuck shes doing that I disagree with, which is actually really hard because we are soooo fucking different that it seems everything she does is wrong. Sorry, I'm not sorry. After this conversation ended, I felt as if she was trying to subliminally say something about my lifestyle, which I don't like. Yes, I want to be healthy, and thinner, and not smoke and make my own clothes and bake and all that. The difference between me and her is (in this case anyway) A) I don't have the money she does to afford that type of lifestyle, B) I have a real  job and bills to pay, so I'm sorry but vitamins are the last thing on my mind and C) My main concern right now, is passing my classes. My schedule is so overwhelming right now, I really don't have the spare time that she does to go to the gym and bake and sew shit. So sorry Des, I love you, but stop judging me, cause Lords knows you're not fucking perfect. To be honest, I'm really fucking over this new "exercise craze". Don't get me wrong, if anyone needs to lose weight its me, I know I'm overweight and unhealthy, and yes I'd like to change that. But what really pisses me off, is that people are so fucking focused on the outside, they forget to fix the inside. Yes, you are hot, but your also a dumb bitch who needs to pick up a book. My main concerns are not what people think of my appearance, I have no interest in "making the homegirls jealous" or getting "all the fine fellas to check me out". No. I'd rather read, and write and make music than stress over my body. I do understand that people look back on their lives and regret the things the didn't do  to make themselves more healthy. I know my clock is running out, I know I wasted my teenage "fun" years being self conscience and shy and, yes, fat. But I can always change that, what people don't realize is that you can transform a body no problem, but it's your personality that needs changing, because if all you care about are surface appearances, then you're fucked no matter how many gym memberships you have. Fin.